Vegas, Baby, Vegas!

Remember all that romantic, sappy, nostalgic crap I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the perfect road trip? Midwestern college towns and changing leaves and bratwurst and all that?

Forgetaboutit.

The ultimate road trip for a gluttony of football watching is 48 hours in fabulous Las Vegas, NV. I managed to convince GoBlue and Wildcat (my step-brothers) to drive out to Vegas from LA to join me this weekend when I had to be there for a conference. The process of "convincing" them was me saying, "Do you want to go to Vegas to watch the Cal-USC game this weekend? " Apparently I had them at "Vegas".

I finished my official duties on Friday evening and went back to my hotel room at Bally's to dress for the night at the casinos; Dress jeans, grey/silver dress shirt, and sports coat. I met up with a few of the interns in my program and we headed out to the Hard Rock Casino, one of my favorites. We broke the ice with a little roulette: mathematically its a horrible game but I just can't resist. Then we decided to head downtown, so we went out to the taxi line. Since there were six of us, we would have to pay for two cabs. But for a few dollars more, we could all go together in a limo! Cab vs Limo: tough choice.

We emerged from the dark limo onto the outrageously dazzling lights of Fremont Street. The contrast enhanced the effect of awe. Just then my iphone buzzed with a text message from GoBlue: they had just left Barstow. I knew exactly what this meant and how much longer they had to drive. I gleefully informed my colleagues that my brothers had left Barstow!

I was met with completely blank stares.

Then I remembered that these were all Iowans who have only known Las Vegas as an airline destination. They have never experienced the privilege of fighting the I-15 from Southern California into Sin City. As a longtime veteran of this route, I knew the landmarks well. Close your eyes, Californians, and see if you can rattle them off in order:

1. I-10 and I-15 interchange in the Inland Empire (depending on your starting point)

2. Cajon Pass and the Mormon Rocks (movie and TV location- think Kirk versus the lizard man in the "Arena" episode of the original Star Trek. That was a different spot- Vasquez Rocks, but very similar)

3. Antelope Valley (zzzzzz . . . )

4. BARSTOW! (significant becuase it's the last In and Out before Nevada and a required pit stop)

5. Big Empty Mojave Desert (zzzzz . . . )

6. Baker, CA and the world's largest thermometer

7. Big Empty Mojave Desert (zzzzz . . . )

8. Zzyzx Road Exit (I kid you not- so weird it deserves its own wikipedia entryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zzyzx,_California)

9. State Line at Primm, NV! (once a road sign, now a developed casino and amusement park)

10. The odd casinos at Jean, NV and the Nevada State Correctional Facility (don't pick up hitchhikers)

11. Crest the hill and see the cityscape of Vegas in neon and cesium light (the first light to be seen still the giant spotlight atop Luxor, but the change is less dramatic now that there are housing developments dozens of miles south of the strip)

As expected, a little over 2 hours after the message from Barstow, GoBlue and Wildcat arrived and dragged us back to Hard Rock, their favorite. . . OK, they didn't drag us back- I suggested it. More classic rock, more memorabilia, more beautiful people. Despite the tables being "unkind" to GoBlue, three AM arrived surprisingly fast. Once we realized that our friends from College GameDay would be coming to our city soon with a 7am wake up call (darn Pacific Time Zone), we switched from red bull/vodka to bottled water and headed back to the room.

GoBlue and I made it to breakfast following Corso's donning of the purple cow headgear from Williams college (first division III visit ever for Game Day). Wildcat was still recovering and did not share our requirement for Game Day Pancakes. As we shoveled in eggs and pancakes, we poured over the stat sheets and parlay cards, making countless notes with the keno crayon, conveniently provided at every table.

Armed with the collective wisdom of the underdog pool, the expert analysis of Kirk, Lee, and Chris, and our own shared knowledge, we developed individualized parlay strategies. We headed for the sports book. Where it lacks the plush seating of Bellagio or the expanse of Ceasar's, the pure functionality of the Bally's sports book is unparalleled. It is converted from a movie theatre that existed when Bally's was the original MGM Grand. In fact, my dad and I had been to that theatre; we watched the 1960 version of "The Time Machine" when we were there for a medical meeting over 25 years ago. The sloping floor and adjacent sports bar provide ample viewing space.



We had scoped out the ideal seat the night before and we were able to snag our first choice at about 10 AM. We settled into a corner table, in the first row of the sports bar overlooking the theatre. We were joined by the friendly folks from the Sooner Alumni Club. We placed our bets, ordered the first of many buckets of beer, and tried to get oriented to the media available.


On small screens below us, we had our choice of 4 channels. On giant screens above us, we had a view of about 4 more games. At any given moment, we could enjoy the action from 6 simultaneous events, not counting commercials. As one group in the bar would cheer, we would anxiously gaze around until we found the latest "Game Changing Performance." It quickly became disorienting, vertigo-inducing, and a general strain on already hungover brains. But it was so much fun we couldn't stop. Every hour brought more games of interest. Michigan-Wisconsin, Purdue- Michigan State, Alabama- Mississippi State, Tennessee- Arkansas, and Wake Forest-Clemson. Then, Kentucky-Vanderbilt and Notre Dame- Air Force. Then, Cincinnati-UConn, Georgia-Auburn, ASU- UCLA, and of course, Illinois - Ohio State (YES! GO ILLINI!). Then, Stanford-Washington State, Oklahoma- Baylor (much to the pleasure of Sooner Nation at the next table), and Miami- Virginia. Finally, Oklahoma State- Kansas and Cal-USC got started at 5pm. When it was all over, we managed to watch all or part of 24 games, sat for over 10 hours, and drank an unspecified number of buckets of beer.


Apparently, the Pac-10 fans were elsewhere in the city that day and Bally's was inundated with Big-12 fans. So USC-Cal was not the premiere game on the main screen as we had expected. We left the sports book at halftime of USC-Cal so we could enjoy the rest of that brilliant game in our hotel room, unfettered by the countless distractions of the sports book. But not before I collected my winnings for nailing a 5 team parlay! I would like to thank each and every one of the poolers for contributing valuable data towards my win. You rock.



How do you end such a gluttony of football? By driving to In and Out of course, to sober up on some cheeseburgers with grilled onions and the best fries in the west.



Fight On,

Hans



PS: Ohio State's loss puts us one step closer to Oregon-LSU in the BCS championship. But Kansas controls their own destiny and can jump to the top by winning out over Missouri and Oklahoma. Better fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a very bumpy night!