Into the Lion's Den

I have attended the Iowa caucuses each election year since we moved here in 2002.  In the two prior events, the Democratic nomination was up for grabs and my wife and caucused as Democrats.   Our first experience, in 2004, was a fascinating indoctrination into this arcane spin on neighborhood democracy.  In 2008, I was an enthusiastic Obama supporter, even rallying neighbors with a pre-caucus reception at our home and walking en masse to the caucus site.  But this year Obama is running unopposed.  My wife was happy to sit out this year.  But I, ever the student of political science and aspiring journalist, went to the county recorder office a few weeks ago and registered myself as a Republican.  It was time to see how the other half lives!

January evenings in Iowa are typically below freezing and the land is usually covered with ice.  This year, as many of you know, has been unusually dry and warm across the Midwest.  It was clear, a relatively pleasant 35 degrees, and devoid of ice and snow.  Unlike prior years, my assigned caucus site was not within easy walking distance from home so I unromantically drove my car to the local elementary school.

The rules are clear: the caucus meeting starts at 7:00 pm and late comers will NOT be seated.  When I arrived at 10 minutes to 7, there was a huge line to get in.  I was allowed through and was given one of the last ballots they had.  This was a major difference in format of the caucuses between the two parties.  Each political party makes up their own rules for the caucuses.  The Democrats hold an open vote: you stand in a corner of the room for your candidate and the party leaders count bodies.  Yep- that open!  And if a candidate doesn’t meet a certain threshold to be “viable” those voters need to re-choose.  Seriously.  It’s really weird and really cool at the same time. 

The Republicans, however, are much more official.  They have a secret ballot.  You write your candidate’s name on a blank piece of paper (write in candidates are allowed), and drop it in a box.  The votes are counted in a back room with volunteer observers, and the results are announced.  That’s it- no reallocation for hopeless candidates.  Just one vote and go home.  It’s more like traditional democracy, but kinda boring. 

Before the vote, however, volunteers are invited to speak for 5 minutes in favor of each candidate.  The order was determined by random.  First up was the representative for Rick Santorum.  He was not particularly enthusiastic, but spoke humbly and honestly.  Remarkably, the speaker chose to highlight Santorum’s Foreign Affairs experience rather than his conservative social agenda!  Interesting. 

Next up was Michelle Bachman.  No one volunteered to speak for her, so the Santorum speaker stood to say a few words.  He couldn’t endorse her as a leader or a presidential candidate, but he wanted to express his appreciation of her as a person.  He teared up as he recalled meeting her on the National Mall in Washington and how impressed she was that she took a moment to focus her attention on his daughter.  I may have many negative impressions about Bachman, but this guy’s story was touching.

The rep for Ron Paul was a young, local small business owner and emphasized Paul’s hands-off regulation, cutting of taxes, and fiscal plans. 

Jon Huntsman?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Beuller?    Lesson here?  When you ignore Iowa, Iowans ignore you.  Besides, his moderate views had few friendly ears in the room. 

Rommney’s rep was a former schoolteacher who lives around the corner from us.  She used the blackboard and tried to speak professionally about Romney, emphasizing his business acumen and his ability to accomplish things in a very liberal state.  Next up was another neighbor to speak for Rick Perry.  He was a veteran, and it was important for him to vote only for candidates with military experience (Paul and Perry).  He had also worked and traveled in Texas throughout Perry’s career and had interacted with him frequently.  (notice a trend here?  Iowans rarely vote for someone they haven’t met!)  He spoke very well and enthusiastically for a candidate everyone in the room knew was dead in the water. 

The last speaker, for Newt Gringrich, turned out to be the closest neighbor to us, just down the road.  He yard is distinctively schizoid, emblazoned with the signs for each and every Republican candidate.  This guy wears his GOP credentials on his sleeve.  He began his talk by relating a story about our recent windstorm.  For his yard, it was a “wind poll”.  The Ron Paul sign flew off into the wild blue yonder, as outlandish as the candidate himself.  Rommney’s was ripped and split into two, like the two sides of his political personality.  Cain’s was just gone- no where to be seen, vanished along with the candidate.  Bachman’s and Perry’s went on wild rides, carried by the wind high into the air only to come crashing down to earth moments later.  But one sign held firm: the Newt.  And this guy took it as a sign (pun intended).

But my amusement with his speech soon ended.  To link himself with Newt’s proud role as a Professor of History, the speaker launched into a long description of his own genealogy.  It seems he can trace himself back to British nobility and Virginia plantation owners.  He said that Newt knows what it means to be an American and that this country is for Americans.  Unfortunately, his implication could not have been more clear: America is for white Europeans, not Kenyan-born foreigners.  For the first time tonight, I became very uncomfortable.  I texted to Kristi that I felt like I needed a shower after that bunch of jingoistic crap. 

With the speeches done, we voted by secret ballot and the box was carried away to be counted.  Since they announce the results to the room before they call Des Moines with the tally, I stuck around to hear the outcome.  In the intervening time, party members were invited to propose planks for the state party convention later this Spring.

The first proposal, to promise to eliminate waste, was a no-brainer and passed by consent.  The second was to amend the Iowa constitution to state that Iowans have a right to keep and bear arms.  Huh?  Apparently the federal government’s second amendment that states this very thing is not good enough for this party.  Weird. 

The third plank was to eliminate smoking in casinos.  A little background here: a few years ago, with a Democratic house, senate, and governor in Des Moines, the state passed a ban on smoking in bars and restaurants but exempted casinos.  This proposal aimed to correct the Democrats act of “selling out to the gambling industry” and complete the protection of workers in those facilities.   Just one problem: Republicans are against further regulation of businesses, not for it!  The proposal was narrowly defeated. 

Finally, a woman proposed a plank stating that life begins at conception.  This one was met with considerable controversy, with one young college age man standing up and challenging that it was time to “separate politics and religion”.  After a spirited debate with a few vocal pro-choice attendees, the “personhood” plank was adopted by a large margin. 

Finally, the moment came we were all waiting for; the results.  In our precinct, the final total votes were: Santorum 25, Bachman 5, Paul 41, Huntsman 4, Romney 81, Perry 15, Gringrich 22.  This was not very reflective of the statewide results, where Santorum tied Romney.  Living in a college town, we are far more likely to have moderate voters or independents in the caucus, and they show a strong preference for Romney. 

Iowans are now very happy to get on with their lives and to stop getting dinnertime phone calls from each candidate.  Your serve, New Hampshire. 

Fight On,

Hans