Open Letter to Steve Sarkisian

Reporting from Pasadena, CA

Dear Coach Sarkisian,

Greetings. I hope you are enjoying the dreary weather in rainy Seattle. We had a good dose of gentle Pacific showers all day today in Pasadena. I am sure your hard work and moderate success with rebuilding the Washington Huskies football program has distracted you from such petty nuisances as the local climate.

Allow me to get right to the point; we miss you in Los Angeles. We Trojans have many fond memories of your days as Pete Carroll's QB coach and Assistant Head Coach, when you drew up plays for Matt Leinart and Mark Sanchez that lit up the scoreboard. Your departure in 2008 that saw you and Defensive Coordinator Nick Holt leave for the University of Washington marked the decline of the Pete Carroll era at USC. We wished you well and knew the Huskies were in good hands. Your enthusiasm and innovation has been rewarded in Seattle, where you took a 0-12 Huskies team and went 5 - 7 your first year. Now, you have them on pace for a nine-win season only 4 years later.

As you are well aware, your "partner in crime" on offense during the Carroll days, Lane Kiffen, has been USC's head coach for the last 3 years. Since you worked so closely with Lane, you understand what drives him. You will recall, in a heedless attempt to achieve his career goal of a head coaching job, he enthusiastically pursued every available opening. He even accepted the disastrous Oakland Raiders position that you wisely declined. It was clear to us that you were patiently waiting for the most ideal opportunity while Lane was ready for anything that moved him up the coaching ladder.

The next year, when you were hired at Washington, Lane was fired by the Raiders and landed in Tennessee. His ability to recruit both players and coaches (including the impressive addition of his father, Monte, the genius behind the Tampa 2 defense) was well on display. But his ethics, first publicly questioned by the late Al Davis in being labeled a "liar" on his way out the door in Oakland, became more problematic in his stint with the Volunteers. He antagonized other coaches and repeatedly made minor, yet technically illegal, recruiting violations.

Tempers that were flared by Lane's antics in Knoxville became enraged just a year later when he bolted for USC to replace Pete Carroll. You certainly must respect the level of cajones Lane showed by leaving Tennessee so soon and stepping into a program facing a then-unprecedented volume of NCAA sanctions. USC AD Pat Haden later described how Lane came to him with a entire notebook filled with his 5 year plan to weather the sanctions. And, remarkably, his plan seemed to be working as USC continued to recruit the best players and managed to separate the bowl ban from the scholarship reductions, effectively halving the impact of the sanctions on the long term success of the program. Alumni dollars followed and the seats the Coliseum remained (mostly) full.

Lane is a remarkable recruiter. And his long term plan for the Trojans is impressive in execution. But aside from his ethics, there is another aspect of his coaching that was never stellar: his sideline coaching. Obsessed with his charts and percentages, Lane spends every moment of the game buried in a giant laminated play card. He remains so disconnected from the game rhythms and his player's emotions. Furthermore, his play calling is questionable at best. When he left for the Raiders and you moved from Quarterbacks coach to Offensive Coordinator, we could see the Trojan offense act more dynamic and more innovative. Under Lane Kiffen, USC looks predictable, slow, and static.

The continued ethical problems this year push us towards a change. Not letting our former hero and your Mentor Norm Chow walk the field before the Hawaii game? Disguising the kicker as another player against Colorado? He condones a culture of poor decisions; How else to explain how a graduate assistant believed it might be ok to let the air out of the footballs when they we played Oregon?

This year began with such promise. The degree of failure of this team is literally historic (only 4 teams in history started the season number 1 and lost 4 or more games). We are ready for a change.

Please come back to your hometown of Los Angeles. You are ready to take the next step in your career and show the world what your ingenuity, charisma, and dedication can do with the pool of talent in the coliseum. The Pete Carroll glory days would return.

Signed,

The Trojan Family.

Fight on,

Hans

Hawaii!

Quick thoughts from last weekend:


Nice upset, Aggies.  Welcome to the SEC!  Your arrival is working out better than Mizzou's . . .


Iowa's season is officially in the dumpster.  Time to rethink the coaching staff, at least the coordinators.


USC vs UCLA is for more than just bragging rights; its the Pac-12 South Division Championship.  I'll be there to see if USC can salvage any glory from its fallen "dream season" that held so much promise when Matt Barkley spoke of "unfinished business" at a press conference in December last year.


But first I have some "unfinished business" on a beach in the Pacific.

The flight departs in 2 hours and 22 minutes

See you in a week!

Fight On,

Hans

Luxury Travel on a Budget

Reporting from San Francisco and Los Angeles, CA

American Eagle 1A is heaven.

Sitting in seat 1A on an American Eagle flight is one of the most exquisite yet simple traveling pleasures I know. To sit in this magical place requires not the extravagant trappings of an burgeoning expense account or a massive pile of frequent flyer miles. This seat, situated forward of all other rows on the EMB 140, sits apart from the rest, adjacent to the crew galley. The bulkhead provides ample legroom and complete solace. From this seat, the plane is my own; private travel for no more than the cost of a coach ticket. I began this particular short weekend trip to California with a luxurious flight to Dallas, nestled into 1A with cured meats, brie, a passable Argentinian Sauvignon Blanc, and Johnny Depp's Dark Shadows.

Once in Dallas, I had just enough time to duck into the Admirals Club for a couple shots of complimentary whiskey before transferring to my flight to San Francisco. Unfortunately, there is no magical 1A on this large, roomy 757. With space enough for a separate first class that obliterates my equalitarian seat 1A, I am herded into the middle of the plane into a exit row seat. Somewhere back in Iowa City, a well-meaning travel agent had taken pity on my 6'2" frame and elected a seat with extra leg room. Unfortunately, that puts me squarely over the wing.

I hate that.

You see, when I travel, I really like looking out the window. I am that guy that sits up and pays attention when the pilot announces that we are flying over the Grand Canyon. Why go through the expense and hassle of air travel if you you are not going the enjoy the amazing sights of this vast country passing below you? Now it just so happens that the air routes taken into San Francisco pass over the Sierra Nevada. Often, the plane will fly right over the Long Valley caldera area of the Eastern Sierra and I get to ogle the places that have been so special for me since childhood: Mammoth Mountain, Mono Lake, and Yosemite national park. Although my back was thankful I could stretch out in this exit row, I could only glimpse Mammoth for a few seconds this time before it was obscured by the engine and wing occupying most of my view. I am happy to report, however, that the mountain is fully covered with snow and it looks like we will be able to enjoy a new ski season soon.

I came to San Francisco for the American Association of Medical Colleges meeting to network with other educators that specialize in teaching students their "clinical skills" of being a doctor: how to take a patient's history, conduct a physical examination, and gather the deductive clues to make an insightful diagnosis. Kinda like what Gregory House does on House MD but with a lot less acerbity and a few less drugs.

It was a beautiful weekend in the city, so I enjoyed a long walk to my favorite bar, Smuggler's Cove. Behind its unassuming facade (see below) lies over 350 types of rum. They are presented through a well-researched cocktail menu that follows the mixologist's history of rum from the English Navy's grog to the golden age of tiki bars following World War II. Fortified by a Parisian Blonde, I enjoyed a delicious Indian dinner at Amber, a hip, crowded restaurant near the museum complex around the Moscone Convention Center.

After my meeting ended the next day, I rushed back to SFO to catch a Southwest flight to LA, making sure to snag a window seat on the left side of the plane. The term "posh" originated as an acronym for "Port Out Starboard Home" and described the the most desirable cabin when sailing from London to South African or India during the days of the British empire. If you occupied a cabin on the port (left) side of the boat when sailing south along Africa, you viewed the coastline for the duration of the journey. By switching to a cabin on the starboard (right) side for the return trip home, you also enjoyed a view that was considerably less monotonous than the empty sea that the other less fortunate passengers endured.

The air routes between San Francisco and Los Angeles generally follow the coastline of California. To fully witness the majesty of the Golden State, it is best to sit on the port side of the plane flying south to LA and move to the starboard side for the return leg north. Again, port out, starboard home. The open seating offered by Southwest, frequently viewed as chaotic and unruly by more sophisticated travelers, allows anyone in the know to enjoy a posh seat at Southwest's famously bargain prices.

When I got to LA, I caught a ride directly to the coliseum, arriving in Exposition Park 25 minutes after stepping off the plane. A few minutes later I was in my 50 yard line seat for USC vs Oregon. On social medial outlets in the days leading up to the game, the usually arrogant and myopic Trojan fans were remarkably pessimistic about their team's chances against the Ducks. Armed with those low expectations, I was actually quite pleased that USC trailed by only 3 late in the 3rd quarter. But a couple of costly turnovers and a complete inability to stop the vaunted Quack attack offense turned the pessimism into reality. USC's offense played their best game of the year and put up one heck of a fight. But I openly concede that Oregon is a better team; a much better team that deserves a shot at the national championship.*

On Sunday, after a blessed extra hour of sleep thanks to daylight savings time, I retraced my long air travels back to San Francisco and Dallas and finally to home. One week of work, three hard shifts next weekend, and I'll be getting back on a plane again. This time headed to Hawaii

8 days, 1 hour, 30 minutes to go.

Fight On,
Hans

PS: the Ducks deserve to be in the BCS championship unlike Notre Dame who just keeps pulling wins out of their lucky little green butts. Manti Te'o has the Irish defense playing out of their minds, but the offense is not very consistent. Although T'eo on and his front four will be able to get good pressure on Barkley, I anticipate that the Notre Dame dream season will come to a screeching halt on November 24th with a blowout loss to USC in the Coliseum. (See above regarding arrogant and myopic Trojan fans)