What to do when it's 0 degrees

Tonight, much of country watched the Frozen Tundra of Lambeax Field with a voyeuristic, ghoulish fascination at playing football in below freezing weather. "Ice Bowl II!" "Isn't great how Brett Favre plays in lousy weather" "Those Packer fans are just amazing" What is easy to forget in the midst of this spectacle that we are enjoying from 70 degree living rooms is that we expect these professional football players to entertain us despite the ridiculous conditions. As an Emergency Physician who has treated more than enough cases of frostbite and hypothermia, I can confidently state that there is simply nothing fun about being outdoors in below freezing weather. Football in 30 degrees and 6 inches of snow? That's pretty darn close to heaven. Football in -25 wind chill? Dangerous. And please tell me who the genius was that put the kickoff after sunset. Boneheads. What would you do if your employer expected you to work outside in conditions that cause tissue injury in a matter of minutes?

Given the extreme conditions common in the upper Midwest in January, many of you probably wonder what we do to survive in the deepest, darkest, coldest days of winter. First of all, outdoor activities are steeply curtailed. Nordic skiing with appropriately expensive designer base layers and high-tech space age athletic apparel can be done, but only on bright, sunny days with minimal wind. Second, all that fat we've been building up since RAGBRAI ended last summer finally is put to good use. Third, we hold winter parties (in lieu of Christmas Parties in December) to enjoy the company of co-workers and neighbors and also get really smashed. Fourth, vacations to Florida, Texas, Arizona, Mexico, and the Caribbean are really popular. Fifth, and most importantly, we justify our newly reclusive never-be-seen-outside lifestyle as "a chance to spend quality time with the family." The volume of quality family time increases exponentially with dropping temperatures.

As we enjoy our quality time with the family, also known as huddling under blankets on the couch while watching TV, we can marvel at Brett Favre's moderate talent but ridiculously brilliant karma. I think we may have enjoyed his gritty determination and youthful spirit for the last time tonight. Mourn not the passing of this legend. All good things must come to an end, including Brett Favre, the cozy comfort of Autumn, and this year's unbelievable year in college football.

The 2007 football season will go down in history as the Year of the Dog. A season made for the Underdog Pool. A season so chaotic that a team won the national championship with 2 losses for the first time ever. A season so bizarre, the record for largest upset in history was broken . . . twice. A season so turbulent that the number 2 team had a 2 - 6 record for the final 8 weeks.

The bard writes that every dog will have his day. There were so many dogs having their day, that even Division I-AA teams pulled off upsets over the top division. North Dakota State managed it twice. And then there was Appalachian State . . .

I want to take this moment to send out a thank you to some of the colleges that made this madness possible. Do you remember theses wonderful upsets? Utah, Iowa State, South Florida, Colorado, Auburn, Kansas State, Iowa, Oregon State, Vanderbilt, UCLA, Rutgers, Alabama, Mississippi State, UConn , Florida State , Illinois, Texas Tech, Arkansas, Texas A and M, and, of course, Pittsburgh.

Finally, special mention needs to made of the three ultimate underdogs. The bronze goes to Syracuse, pulling off a then-record 36-pointer over Louisville. The silver goes to Appalachian State: although it was a mere 28-point upset by the 1-AA national champion, their stunning win over Michigan set the tone for the year and became a buzzword for shocking wins. The gold, reluctantly I might add, goes to Stanford, for the single greatest upset in the history of college football: a 41 point baffler that changed the course of the season, keeping the Trojans out of the national title game and allowing a 2 loss team to win it all.

There is one more thing midwesterners do to survive the bitterly cold winter: shuffle through the darkness to the local basketball arena to enjoy that other greatest sport in the world: college basketball. The Dogs of March starts in 2 months. Get ready.

Fight On,
Hans

Bowl Daze

Does anyone out there really care about Mississippi State vs Central Florida?  Or Wake Forest vs UConn?  Any given year, Alabama vs Colorado might be a good game.  But this year they both finished 6-6.  And they met in a Bowl Game?  No one outside of Fresno or Atlanta knew that the Bulldogs and the Yellowjackets played in a bowl this year.  And no one in Boise showed up in the 25 degree weather to watch them play on the smurf turf.  

Put simply, no one would disagree that there are too many bowl games.  Somehow, the system that legitimately rewarded worthy teams of a post-season bonus has ballooned into a travesty of unrealistic expectations.  When leagues are getting 7 or 8 teams into the post season, something is wrong.  When 7-5 teams are considered to have a decent record  and 6-6 qualifies, something is wrong.  When two 6-6 teams play each other, something is seriously wrong!

I blame ESPN and the Capitol One Financial Group for enabling this atrocity.  ESPN provides the broadcast media and Capitol One provides the money for their "Bowl Week": seven miserable days of really bad bowl games.  The growth in cable television has created this monster.  The games are put on for the television audience, not for the local residents and vacationing fans.  Don't believe me?  Did you see the stands at the Papjohns.com bowl?  Or the Autozone Liberty bowl? (remember when that was actually a respectable bowl?)  Or the aforementioned Humanitarian Bowl?  What a joke!

As the bowl system began to blossom a few years back, I had faith in the free market system.  A lack of local support and a lack of TV ratings for a useless bowl would kill it.  But then ESPN stepped in, found the deep pockets of Capitol One, and has thrown endless stacks of money at the Meineke Car Care Bowl, Texas Bowl, Emerald Bowl, etc.  So this begs the question: what bowls are worth keeping?  Which are ones that you watch year to year?

Obviously the BCS bowls.  And the Cotton Bowl is often good (except this year).  Why is this bowl with a much longer tradition than the Fiesta Bowl not part of the BCS?  Becuase Dallas is a miserable place to be on New Years Day!  I find myself frequently watching the Citrus Bowl . . er . . . Capitol One Bowl (why can't they be satisfied with just sponsoring that one bowl?)  I also enjoy the Alamo and Holday Bowls, even though they are played during the dreaded Capitol Bowl Week.  What do all these bowls have in common?  They involve the 2nd or 3rd place team in their respective tied-in leagues.  This translates to higher-ranked match-ups, higher profile teams, and a higher quality of play.  In short, the games we want to watch.

And speaking of good match-ups, the Rose Bowl committee really blew it by inviting Illinois.  Sure, the Illini's first Rose Bowl in 25 years generated epic buzz in Champaign and Chicago, but we all knew they had no chance against the Trojans.  USC proved that they are one of the best teams in the country by blowing the Illini out of the Arroyo.  Georgia ended Colt Brennan's fairy tale later that night by destroying the Warriors in the Sugar Bowl.  But the Rose Bowl could have had USC play Georgia.  What a game that would have been!  And, after Oklahoma got blown out by West Virginia, the Rose Bowl winner would have a had a shot at the AP national championship and a split title with LSU (that would have really pissed off the Tiger fans!)

Oh well.  Woulda', Coulda', Shoulda'. . . 

Fight On,

Hans

PS: I ran into Rick Neuheisel outside the Rose Bowl before the game and wished him luck in the upcoming season.  Its  a good hire for UCLA with one really big IF: If he can stay clean and not get the program into trouble.  With the Reggie Bush NCAA investigation looming soon, USC may

 face sanctions.  So which LA program will face a scandal first?  The race is on . . .